Voices of Ash by Jill Zeller

Author:Jill Zeller [Zeller, Jill]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: magic realism, Hollywood, love, dysfunctional family, bicycle racing, post-World War 2, post traumatic stress syndrome
ISBN: 9781611384994
Publisher: Book View Cafe
Published: 2015-08-11T07:00:00+00:00

Nineteen

Silence made Hank uneasy, as he was unable to hear the chorus of voices in the continual background of his life. Mom was at Cedric’s pleading for her children, Dad had gone off somewhere. Absent more and more, Dad especially seemed not to like to spend time in the living room under the quietly surprised gaze of his father’s urn. Carl was in his room, door closed.

Connie unsteadily and softly went upstairs, after whispering to Hank that she needed a nap and a long soak in the tub, but she would perform his deed first thing in the morning. He felt a little nervous about that, determining that he would make sure she remembered.

Then there was the problem of Susan. Hank sat on the couch, his legs out before him, and gazed at his grandfather. Afternoon air, carrying floral scents, curled in from the patio. Picking up the phone, Hank dialed Susan’s number.

Joseph answered. “Ah, the boy wonder.” Joseph’s voice was slow and drawly, but he sounded lucid. “I think I owe you an apology.”

“It’s OK. You already apologized.”

Joseph continued, “Well, anyway. I’m sorry for being such an asshole yesterday. I would offer up an excuse, but I don’t have one.”

“It’s OK. Really,” was all Hank could think to say.

“Good then. I’m walking more. I’m trying to get off the dope. I want to get back to work like any other good American boy. I miss the ghosts and they miss me.”

“You going back to work at the cemetery?” Hank thought this was an ambitious goal, but if it got Joseph out of the house, all the better.

Joseph’s voice softened, barely heard above the hiss of the wire. “I’ll stay out of your way. She really missed you, while you were gone—Oh hey, this one’s for you!”

A clatter, swift talking in the background, then Susan’s voice, uncertain, “Hello?”

“I miss you,” was all Hank could say.

She was silent for a while. “When will you be back by?”

She had never asked him that before. He always left her bungalow without an invitation to return, as if there was no need for it. Now things were changing course, and he really didn’t know.

“Tomorrow?”

She agreed to this. “Tomorrow.”

Putting the phone down, Hank looked at his hands, which were shaking. Climbing the stairs to his room, he tried fiercely to remember what had happened. But it was as if he was pushing at a door that refused to open. Lying on his bed, he stared at his desk, trying to see Luz sitting there, laughing at something he said. Connie implied that he and Luz—if that were true, it would definitely be memorable. But had it really happened?

He too must have slept. When he went down stairs, the afternoon had worn away while Connie slept off her brandy. At some point, Carl must have slipped out, gone down to town to hang out with friends. When Mom came home, she found Hank in the living room, stretched out on the sofa again, trying to read the comics, but finding his mind wandering between two women.

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